The Little Metal Boy
by Epitome of Randomness
Summary: "Once upon a time, there was a little boy, and he was made of metal. I know, you know this one, my dear, but the best stories are the ones we hear a hundred times." Saying goodbye to the Artemis Fowl series.
1. Chapter 1

**Me, working out how to deal with the official ending of my childhood, with the closing of the final series I grew up with. Apart from the Faraway Tree series, but I don't think Enid Blyton's in any position to finish those. **

**Told as a fairytale, because books with fairies are invariably fairytales, right?**

**DISCLAIMER: Not Eoin Colfer.**

**The Little Metal Boy**

_Once upon a time_ – which is how all stories with fairies start, right_? Once upon a time_, a hero, a princess, a dungeon and a wicked queen. Dragons, quests to find lost treasure, journeys to far off lands and back home again. Houses divided and the return of old enemies. And, then there is a kiss. Isn't there always a kiss? Just like there is always a beginning, a_ Once upon a time_, and then there is always a _happily ever after_.

That's the way it used to be.

But now, little one, sometimes we have to be _happy_ that there is an _after _at all.

_**In the beginning**_

_**the hero / the little metal boy / our artemis fowl**_

_Once upon a time_, there was a little boy, and he was made of metal. I know, you know this one, my dear, but the best stories are the ones we hear a hundred times.

He was hard and polished on the outside, cold and shiny on the inside. He kept his gears polished and well oiled and updated and they ticked over faster than any gears ever seen before. The little metal boy was proud of his silver skin and quick-ticking gears, even if they meant he was clumsier than the rest of the boys, who were made of wood or sand and had slower gears, older gears, older ideas.

The little metal boy's mother was made of glass and his father was made of gold, which meant he'd sunk to the bottom of the icy ocean without trace. They couldn't let his mother crack after this, so she was kept in the attic, wrapped in blankets and lily petals. Without his glass mother and gold father the little metal boy reset his gears so they spun ever faster and decided he must be like father. He would remake himself in gold and save the family from ruin. He would stop his mother from shattering.

The little metal boy had a protector, a patchwork man of metal, sand, clay and wood, towering like a tree and strong like the tides. He had seen much, bore scars from a thousand battles, and knew of arts the little metal boy could never learn. And he was to help the little boy find the gold.

The little metal boy decided he would take the gold from the fairies, because this is a fairytale, right? It started with_ Once upon a time_, so it must be.

_**the princess / the fire fairy / our holly short**_

_Once upon a time_, there was a young fairy, and she was full of fire.

She was polished and hard on the outside, sure and confident on the inside, but softer than anyone could know. She was proud of her wiry strength and cropped red hair, the fiery spark of determination shining through her eyes.

Her spirit was fire, and it gave her strength and made her brave and made her first, the first female fairy to play with the big Knights and to fight with them and win. But she knew they weren't her friends, because no matter how much she fought and won, and joked and laughed with them, she was still a _she_ and that is the issue. A girl can't be a hero, can she? They're only princesses in fairytales, right?

That's where you're wrong, little one. The fire fairy was a knight of the Fair Folk, and had a guide, a man who acted like he hated her but deep down she was a daughter to him. And the fire fairy knew this, and pushed herself to try and please him, to be the best and bravest knight the Fair Folk had ever seen.

But fire is restless and reckless. The fire fairy was a knight of the old school, and she pushed herself so hard and so far she found herself asking the Gods to restore her power, in the bend by the river by the old Oak. In the full moon's light she found her acorn and –

Once upon a time, a little metal boy caught a fairy made of fire.

Book One

_**the dungeon / the cold / the stone**_

"I don't like lollipops."

The little metal boy, his gears ticking over, locked the fire fairy in a room in the earth, but still the earth was blocked from her by the cold and by the walls of stone. All of us need the earth, and the sky, and the water and fire – because that's what fairytales are made of, and what we are all made of, little one. Fairies need it more, and the fire fairy needed it more than most.

The fire fairy kicked and screamed and beat at the walls and the little metal boy felt a spring come loose. He watched, and opened his chest and tried to find the loose spring. It wasn't anywhere he could see.

The patchwork man watched and judged silently, but kept his wise mouth shut, because being wise sometimes means letting people learn for themselves. Alternatively, little one, the patchwork man knew the little metal boy wouldn't have listened anyway.

The fire fairy felt she didn't have friends in the underground, but she was wrong. They fought for her and her freedom, threw their blue time-magic up around the stone rooms and she, in turn came out with the gold the little metal boy had fought so hard for.

She was bumped and scraped by him, the fire fairy and the little metal boy. She would admit it and think of it and talk of it and deal with the hatred that raged in her, a fire hotter, and more dangerous than her own sparks.

The little metal boy, for all his brilliance, and ticking gears, forgot that metal melts. Because he had his mother back, and that was all he had wanted, deep down under his gears.

He would remember melting a long time later, when it mattered again.

Book Two

_**The wicked queen / the ice pixie / opal koboi**_

" IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR."

_Once upon a time_, there was a pixie made of ice, and a world of snow – I think you know this too, little one, or have you forgotten already? The ice-pixie manipulated the fairy world and trapped the metal boy and the fire fairy together in a world of white. Once the ice-pixie could have been beautiful and a true gift to the Fair Folk, her brilliance shining like an opal or diamond.

But as she grew she was twisted by anger, and hate and loneliness and so she tried to trick the fairy people. She in turn was manipulated by a wicked warlock, one with a melted face and burning hatred in his soul. He was what the fire fairy could become if she dwelled too long on the little metal boy. But the fire fairy was made of stronger stuff than he.

The Fair Folk despaired and wondered who could have wrought such terror on their people. And they turned to the little metal boy and blamed him, but it was not his fault, little one. The little metal boy used his gears and said he would help the Fair Folk, but in return the fire fairy and her guide must help him find his golden father. Remember, little one, he had sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

The ice pixie thought this was all very good fun and believed the little band of heroes and villains to be of no threat. But she was wrong, so very wrong, because fire and metal together mean sparks. Sparks of anger, sparks of fear and sparks of brilliance.

Atoms accelerate when they're heated. The fire fairy made the little metal boy not just quick and bright and shiny, but blazing and brave. They were quite a team, and one we know quite well, don't we?

Loath as they were to admit it, they knew it too. The little metal boy and his patchwork man saved the fairies from a terrible fate, and in return, the fire fairy went to the bottom of the ocean and found his golden father. And for a while, little one, they all _lived_ _happily_, but it wasn't _ever_ _after_.

Book Three

_**The dragon / the days yet to come / jon spiro**_

"See you in my dreams."

_Once upon a time,_ there was a metal man who loved gold like the little metal boy did, for the man had taken the soul of a dragon and dragons are greedy. You know that well, don't you little one? Dragons can be protectors and guard the innocent and warm the cold, but so many choose to be greedy.

These greedy dragons are invariably lonely, little one. Gold is gold forever, but love is many things at once. Gold is cold. Friends and family and excitement are warm and cold and exciting and dull and what we all need. Don't roll your eyes at me, it's true.

He sat in his tower and hoarded his gold in piles. The gold was beautiful, but the man was not. His gears were rusted and covered in grime, and his tin heart was shrunken in his chest. It rattled when it beat. The little metal boy tried to play dragon with him, but the dragon took the little metal boy's toy, for he had made a mistake. The little metal boy had made a mistake, and now everyone would pay.

The little metal boy (who couldn't really be called little any more) saw himself reflected in the metal man and hated what he saw. He had made the patchwork man tear himself apart and split his seams, made the fire fairy look at him with disgust. The Fair Folk were tired of the little metal boy endangering the innocent and spreading terror – even though he hadn't meant to – and so wished to cut out his memories.

But the little metal boy couldn't let the Fair Folk cut out his memories, little one, and so his gears span and he came up with a plan. He made many plans, but the one he undertook with his friends and family was of course the most exciting. They raided the dragons den and took back the little metal boy's toy, and the little metal boy did as his golden father would, and stole the dragon's gold.

And then, little one, he gave the gold to the innocent and the endangered. But still, the Fair Folk took their knives and their magic, and cut his memories out.

The fire fairy found herself missing the little metal boy and his patchwork man. She hated herself for it, for caring for someone so close to becoming a dragon. She sat and thought and missed the two humans but kept it to herself as she couldn't be weak in front of the other knights.

Remember this, little one, and don't look so sad. Fire can never forget what it forges, and the fire fairy had made changes to the metal boy, just as he had made changes to her.

The Fair Folk cut out the little metal boy, and the patchwork man's memories, and then there was an ending, little one. Just not a _happily ever after_.

For now, though, that shall be the end. Close your eyes, little one. I'll tell you the rest tomorrow. Sleep tight.

**Breaks off there because that was where it was going to originally end, after The Eternity Code. Good thing it didn't, huh? **

**Reviews, as always, are appreciated. It's good to be (sporadically) back.**

**-Nicola.**


	2. Chapter 2

**To reflect the listener (and of course the reader) aging, the recaps get more and more complex as they wear on, because of course the series was published over 11 years. Sense made? Good.**

**DISCLAIMER: Not Eoin Colfer.**

**The Metal Boy**

Here we are again, little one. Are you sitting comfortably? We're so much older now, so much wiser, but it's good to return to the old stories once again. Ready?

_Once upon a time_, the last time we were here, the Fair Folk had taken their knives and their magic and cut the memories out of the little metal boy and his patchwork man. They did it to protect their people, little one, don't get angry. The fire fairy and her guide occasionally missed the little metal boy and the patchwork man, just as they missed her and the guide in return, even if they didn't realize it. Fire remembers what it forges, and what is forged cannot forget the fire.

Book Four

_**The quest / lost treasures / the pixie returns**_

"Be well."

_Once upon a time_, in another tale, a princess was kissed and she awoke, and knew all was well because her kingdom had waited for her. In our stories, little one, it is not always that easy to wake up. There was much sleeping amongst the fair folk, deep underground, and much awakening at that. The ice pixie slept in her cell, and the fire fairy slept uneasy because she had decisions to make.

She tossed and turned and worried as her guide, a man like a father to her, asked her to join the Round Table. The fire fairy knew this was the right decision to make, but the knights of the Round Table bowed and scraped and groaned under the responsibility of caring for the Fair Folk, buried under duty and care and kept deep underground. You know, little one, the fire fairy did not like to be underground. And still she tossed and turned, and sometimes she missed the little metal boy and his patchwork man.

Amongst our people, little one, the metal boy (for he was not little any longer) had slipped back, his gears shiny and ticking, his skin polished and hard. His memories of fire and ice and dragons slept under layers of magic, and his patchwork man felt something was missing. The dragon in his soul cried out for gold, but his little tin heart wavered at the sight of his glass mother asking him to be happy. Because, in the end, _happily ever after_ is the only way to be. Our metal boy did not know that yet, little one.

And then the ice pixie, remember her? She awoke, and she escaped. Then she did the cruelest deed possible. She had the fire fairy's guide, a man like a father to her, murdered in front of the fire fairy's eyes. Don't cry, little one, for he died bravely and for a good fire fairy fought off the ice pixie's taunts and flew to the metal boy and patchwork man, who did not remember any of it. The patchwork man stitched himself up and found himself remembering our tale, but the metal boy could not trust himself to remember.

No, little one, he only trusted himself, and after a talk with a magic mirror he was our metal boy again, with dents and bumps and still the fastest spinning gears. And they would fight, and win again, but the victory was not a happy one. The fire fairy lost her crown, and her patchwork man, and it seemed they would live _ever_ _after_, but not _happily_.

Book Five

_**The journey back / found families / Abbott**_

"But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible."

_Once upon a time_, before the times of our tale, there was a family that grew weary of our mortal world and so hid, out of our time, behind the silver moon. But their spell began to fail and they began to fall out of time and down to earth. There was a little imp made of fire and stone, and he wished to fall and find friends amongst the other Fair Folk.

There was a golden-haired maiden, her skin shiny as the metal boy's had once been, and his gears spun in all sorts of directions when he saw her, if you know what I mean. They fought, first as enemies, the golden girl against the metal boy and fire fairy, over the little imp. But then an evil sorcerer took the lot, and so they all fought together, against him. And though they won the battle, they lost the war.

You must understand, there were more things at work, little one, and the fire fairy, and the metal boy, and their new little imp friend fell through time, and space, and found the family that had hidden themselves away behind the moon. Oh little one, they came so close to losing everything, but the metal boy would not let that happen. He would not let the fire fairy die.

His gears span and he came up with a plan and picked up the family's sword, and yes, he saved her because he loved her, his best friend, and a world without the fire fairy was a world not worth considering. He fought off the family and brought the fire fairy home, to the joy of the Fair Folk and the surprise of his own people.

Though they had lost much when they returned to our place and our time, the metal boy found himself an older brother, and the fire fairy found herself a place underground, and they both found themselves content. They were _happy_, little one, but this time it wasn't _ever_ _after_.

Book Six

_**Time changes / the kiss / opal koboi**_

"'Of course I saved you,' she said. 'I couldn't do it without you.'"

_Once upon a time_, the metal boy (who was slowly becoming a man, and a good one at that) and the fire fairy were living happily, content, and safe, one on top of the world and the other beneath it. Then it was discovered – the metal boy's glass mother was breaking, shattering into a thousand pieces, and there was nothing they could do.

The metal boy's gold father journeyed to the south to find a wise wizard, and the patchwork man traveled to the north to find a wise witch, but the metal boy called his fairy friends to him and journeyed to a place only a few had been before, to find a creature long lost in our time, a lemur.

He and the fire fairy traveled back in time, back before the beginning of our tale, to when the metal boy was still little, his gears newly formed and tick-tick-ticking away like lightning. The metal boy looked upon his younger self and hated him, and pitied him and what he once was. The fire fairy remembered how she had felt towards the little metal boy when he had locked her in the room in the earth, and wondered at how much her feelings had changed.

The metal boy had to fight harder than ever before, for himself and for his glass mother but he found himself trapped and injured and on the verge of death. Don't look so scared, little one, this was a normal Tuesday for him. But this time, the fire fairy fixed him and this time, she kissed him. That doesn't make it the end of the story, even though most fairy stories end with a kiss.

Where was I? Yes. They kissed, and there was sparks, because what else happens when fire meets metal? The metal boy (who definitely felt like a man at that point) spun his gears once again and realized that they would need to defeat the ice-pixie once again, for she had taken the lemur for herself. And so, gears whirling two-times-over, the metal boy teamed up with his younger self, fought off the ice-pixie and brought the lemur to his slowly splintering mother.

And so little one, though the pair would say differently, things had changed between them. The metal boy's mother knew of the Fair Folk, and the fire fairy was left once again to thrash out her feelings towards the metal boy. And so once again, they all _lived_, and did so _happily_, but it wasn't _ever after_.

**Gosh it was hard to render The Time Paradox in a way that wasn't completely nonsensical…the Atlantis Complex is providing a similar challenge :) **

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, they really brightened my day after a tough time at school. The final chapter will be up soon!**

**-Nicola.**


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